He is the pen and I am the paper

       

       

Have you ever made plans and they just didn't go the way you thought they would? I know I have. My whole life I wanted to have a big family. That was always a dream of mine. I always desired to experience the miracle of pregnancy and a big family. Even as a little girl I would day dream about finding my Prince and spending forever with him. I think almost every little girl has that dream. The thing is, God placed those dreams inside of you and it's all in His perfect plan. You wouldn't have those desires if God hadn't put them there to begin with. The thing we have to remember is that it's all in His perfect timing and it's all in His perfect plan. God has a far bigger plan for us. What we think is amazing is nothing compared to what God wants to do in us and through us. He has HUGE plans! For a long time now I've been trying to figure out that plan. God is teaching me to trust "His" plan and to stop trying to figure it all out. He's good, He's faithful and He will finish the work He began. I'm done with trying to figure everything out. He's teaching me to trust. He's teaching me that He is good, even when things don't go as planned. I don't know what you're going through or what you've been through, but I do know God is faithful. He hasn't left you, His plans haven't changed and His word never changes. He is good, even when we don't understand. He will finish the work He began in your life! 

       A few years after Cole was adopted, I desired to give him a brother or sister. I wanted so bad for him to have a sibling to grow up with. It broke my heart when I couldn't give that to him. I wanted so bad for him to experience hearing and feeling a baby kick inside my womb. I just knew deep down inside he would make an amazing big brother. I would watch him with younger children and saw how good he was with them. He had such a gentleness about him, when surrounded by younger children. Seeing other siblings together and the bond they shared, broke my heart. I longed for Cole to experience that deep bond with a younger sibling. I still hold onto that hope to this day. Has the devil tried to steal that hope? He sure did. But as God's word says, I got back up. It may not happen in the way or the timing I expect it to, but I just know it will happen. I have faith in God's faithfulness and perfect timing. 

       God has taught me over the past few months to trust the process. God knows what He's doing. He has everything thought out. HE is the author of my story, not me. He is the pen and I am the paper. He is perfect in all of His ways. Proverbs 19:21 says "You can make many plans, but the LORD's purpose will prevail." There's a chorus to a song that is dear to my heart. This song has brought me through many painful seasons. It says"Your plans are still to prosper, you have not forgotten us. You're with us in the fire and the flood. Faithful forever, perfect in love. You are Sovereign over us." God is still good, no matter the outcome. He's still the King of Kings, no matter what I face. He never changes and His word never changes. If He's promised you something, He will fulfill it. Don't give up. Will He answer it in the time you expect? Nope. Will He answer it in the ways you expect? Nope. No matter what this journey throws at you remember, He is faithful. Keep your eyes straight ahead. Don't look to the right, don't look to the left and most certainly don't look behind you. Keep your eyes upon the Lord and your faith firmly planted upon His word.