That first gift is my husband. He is the spitting image of God. His love is enduring, he's patient, he's kind, he's a protector, a provider, he's humble and gentle. He puts others needs before his own, he listens, he's forgiving of even the deepest sin, and he's passionate about God and ministry. He's everything a woman could ever want or need in a husband. There are women that would give everything to have a man like him. Not only does he have all of these awesome attributes, he's also extremely handsome. His smile and laugh lights up the room. He's not afraid to be himself. He makes you laugh at his corny jokes; even though I might not always understand them. LOL He's incredibly amazing in every way! He is my rock. He is my best friend. No matter what storms may blow our way, he refuses to be shaken or moved. Forgive me Lord for neglecting such a HUGE gift in my life.
My second gift is Cole, my son. He may not have come from my womb, but he is mine. God entrusted him to me. He is my sunshine. My blue haired, passionate, opinionated, stubborn at times but also loving and giving at times; amazing son. God knew I needed him in my life and He knew Cole needed a family. Before the foundations of the world, He had this in His plans. I haven't been the best mother in the world. I got so caught up in wanting more children that I neglected my son; my gift. He craves love and attention. He gives what he craves as well. Cole has always been concerned when I was hurting. I remember times when I would curl up in the fetal position in my bed sobbing uncontrollably. Cole would ask if I was alright. Whenever he sees I'm sad, he reaches out to hug me and says "Mom, do you need a hug?". Many times due to issues from my past, I refused his hugs and pushed him away. He's always been so extremely giving to others. If he sees a need, he seeks to fulfill that need. I remember times in the past when we were struggling financially and Cole would overhear us talking. He would offer to give us what little he had to help out. No child should ever have to worry about helping financially in any way, but Cole did because he cared. He has a very compassionate and giving heart. He gets excited about giving back to God through tithes and offerings. Cole has been through more in his life than any child should ever have to go through. He's lost a lot in his 12 years of life. He was placed with his Aunt when he was around 2 years old because his biological mother wasn't able to take care of him. After being placed with his Aunt, we were confronted about taking him in and raising him as our own. We jumped on the chance to be able to help a child in need and had always considered adoption as a part of God's plan for us. It's been a wild ride with him. He brings so much energy to our lives; sometimes draining the little energy we have left from this crazy world we live in. I wouldn't trade Cole for anything in this world. He is one of many angels in my life.
Father, forgive me for neglecting the gift of family. Forgive me for neglecting their love. You have shown me more love and grace through them, than I've ever deserved to experience in my life. Forgive me for not being the Mom and Wife that you've called me to be. Forgive me for placing my needs before theirs. I will never neglect these precious gifts another day in my life. I vow right now to be all you have called me to be. I vow to stand up and be the woman of God you have always destined me to be. I vow to love them deeply; to be patient and kind with them. I vow to put their needs before mine and to make my home a place of refuge and restoration. I vow to seek your will first in ALL things. If it's your will for me to be a mom to just Cole, I vow to be that. If it's in your will for me to have a career in something, I will follow your voice. Wherever you lead me, I will follow. Show me your will Lord.
I have missed out on 9, almost 10 years of blessings that were right in front of me the whole time. There is so much that I regret but I know that God would want me to move forward; forgetting what is behind and pressing toward the goal of heaven. Thank you Lord for loving me all these years and using my family to show me grace and mercy. Keep my eyes and heart focused on you God. Keep my ears in tune to your voice. Create in me a clean heart and help me to walk in newness of life everyday of my life. Restore what the enemy stole from me over the last 9 years. Revive the passions that once lived and thrived in my life. Anoint me with your Holy Spirit and set me on fire for you. Give me a hunger for your word, a longing for your presence and a heart for lost souls. Thank you for the gift of life, love and family!
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