As I sit here looking at the picture above, I feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by excitement, anticipation, fear, questions, the unknown, confusion, etc. On our walk with infertility we have heard it all. Although, I know everyone means well, they don't understand. It's not that easy. I've heard things like "You should try IVF" or "You should adopt". I've even heard "Enjoy the child God has already given you" and "Just stop trying so hard and let it happen in God's timing". Those are all legitimate answers to give someone that's struggling to conceive but we all have to remember, it's not that easy. Every infertility journey is unique on it's own and the struggle is different for everyone. None of it is easy but we're all on the same journey together. Some women have decided IVF or medications is the answer God has for them. Some women have decided that adoption is the way God wants them to go. Then some have decided to just wait on God's timing and seek the natural approach to conceive. All of these require faith and lots of strength.
I've watched many different women on their journey and each individual story is so inspiring. I knew that God had a plan all along, I was just too overcome with grief to see the big picture. It never crossed my mind that God's plan was for us to adopt again. This journey has been so hard. Some may think that just because we've decided to adopt, everything is going to be ok now. That everything from here on out will be easy. It hasn't been and I'm sure it won't be. At first, I was so excited that I didn't even stop to think about how difficult this experience might be. There are so many ways you can go about it and at times I get overwhelmed by it all.
We can either foster to adopt or we can go through an agency. If we were to go the route of fostering to adopt, we might not be able to keep the baby. There's always the possibility of reunification with the mother. I think it's wonderful when babies get reunified with their birth mother but I don't know if my tender heart could handle something like that right now. I get attached very easily and I'm not sure if I would be able to go through with something like that. The other route we can go could be very expensive. If we went through an agency it could cost us up to $50,000 at the high end. We also want to do what God wants us to do and want every step to be God ordained. Just looking at that huge cost is overwhelming to me. We have to remind ourselves daily that whatever God wants, He will provide the resources and finances we need. I say all that to show you, it's not that easy. I want to encourage those that are on this journey with us. Whether you're waiting for a divine healing from God, waiting to adopt or going through IVF; God is with you. He is faithful and if He's told you to do something, He will provide every need and every desire. Please don't let the costs or the unknown hold you back from what God has called you to do. Step out in faith and remain obedient to Him. I am praying for you and with you today. I'm believing God to provide supernaturally for your family. I'm coming in agreement, that God will answer your prayers and give you the desires of your heart.
Please continue to pray that God would give us guidance and that we would be obedient every step of the way. If God is leading you to donate towards our adoption, thank you! Please know that every $1 counts! God sees your sacrificial gift and He will reward you greatly. More than anything we covet your prayers! Prayers for provision, guidance, peace and rest through this process. We love you all so much and appreciate all the support you've given along the way! We will keep everyone updated as we continue this journey toward adoption.
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